Another Story of me: October 2018

Everyone have the goodness and badness inside our soul. Nobody is truly 100% good and vice versa. So how did we sometime express our emotion when we felt so much negativity? of course our bad attitude that we hide inside our soul (no matter how innocent and kind you are) - it will crawl out from your soul and express it. And that is what we call "mad".

Why do I bring out this topic on my blog? not that I should have talk more about fashion. But I like to getting more personal, when posting something on my blog. About how I felt these days, weeks, months and years. Somehow I like to write a story about myself and what I am going through to relieve and satisfy myself.

Back to the topic "Expression". When you are mad, how do you hold it up so far? are u the type of person who like to keep it to yourself, getting away, getting alone, express to the person or directly express how you felt - confront? or you will get mad and then forget it or even you will remember it for the rest of your life? For myself, I like to be alone for a while and then i will confront it later on. Because when we are mad, we can't control what is on our mind and what is right or wrong. And you will just blame it into one thing, or this selfish emotion came out from our soul and we will think that we are always right. Even though I do try to control to be alone, sometimes I am uncontrollable and speak whats on my mind right or wrong which ended up hurting people feeling. So yes, I still have lots of rooms for improvement.

Expressing my thought on the blog help ease my mind of holding up everything. The feeling of Disappointment and getting mad at ourselves or even the feeling of powerless can happen anytime at your lowest point of life. Now i do feel that i am reaching to the age of mid quarter life crisis, when we are forced to choose our path and decide what we are going to do for our career. And mostly we are pushed to grown up and learn that not everything can go smoothly as planned. Cause we may stumble upon rocks, we are tested - are we capable of going through this rocky road, are we ready to let go something that you treasure, do we have the hearts to do it all? can we really control our emotion of how the image of Adult should be?

But back to my point, there is nobody perfect -
And what we can do is learning and growing, to become a better person than we used to be.
Take it slowly, don't push yourself so hard and end it up hating yourself instead of self love.
Aren't we human? Aren't we allow to make mistake? Aren't we allow to learn?

This post should be a self reminder that we shouldn't let we hate ourselves for being in a way that we shouldn't be. but as a reminder that we promise to grow and learn during this hardship process that we are going through (close your ears from people around you that share lots of negativity about you) and focus on loving yourself - seeing the positivity.